Desperation, Criminal Minds, and High Drama on the City Streets

“Screw Your Blessing, I Want That!”

“Hey man, can I clean your windshield?”

The enthusiastic young man approached my car from the left side with a big smile. The all-too-familiar city scene.

Squeegee in one hand and a spray bottle in the other.

I then noticed a fellow team member approaching from the right side with a squeegee and bottle.

Since the traffic light had just turned red, I figured I had a few minutes to talk with these two street entrepreneurs.

I waved them both over to the driver’s side and rolled down my window.

“Hey guys! You don’t have to clean my window, but I’m going to bless you anyway. I like your hustle.”

I reached into my wallet and grabbed some bills. In addition, I had a small batch of prepared snack bags of water, protein bar and fruit for handouts.

“Here you go. God Bless!”

“Thank you, man, you’re all right. God bless you, too. Appreciate you.”

We all did a quick fist bump, and before I could roll up the window, drive off, and relish the sweet exchange, a third young man approached my car and stuck his head inside.

Right up in my face, eye-to-eye he shouted, “What do you have for me motherfucker?”

No squeegee. No water bottle.

At the same moment, the light had changed and the horny flock behind me was performing their nano-second light change symphony.

“Calm down, calm down. I’ve got something for you, too.”

The horn chorus was getting louder, and I could hear shouting from the understandably upset people behind me.

“Man, don’t worry about those motherfuckers, just give me my shit!”

“OK, OK. Hold on a second.”

I repeated the same routine as I did for the other two people.

Grabbed a few bills, a bag of water, and snacks, and handed them to the guy.

“Fuck this shit!  I saw a twenty-dollar bill. You got more money. Gimme that twenty!”

Was this technically a robbery?

Was I being robbed?

Quick calculation.

Well, yes, technically it was a robbery, however, under the circumstances, my options were limited.

If I rolled up the window with his head inside and drove down the street dragging him along looking for a police officer, I would likely be the person charged.

The young man grabbing at my wallet would likely be the victim, and the squeegee eye witnesses corner crew would likely not plead in my favor.

Perhaps faulty logic on my part, but in the precarious moment, it seemed like the right thing to do.

So, I said, “Here. Take the twenty. Take the other bills. Take the gift bag. God bless you!”

To which he responded, “Screw the gift bag. Just give me the money.”

He snatched the cash.

Then, as quickly as he appeared, head inside my vehicle, he disappeared.

I drove through the intersection in a slight daze.

Some of the cars that were behind me passed on the right with angry looks and tried to impress me with the tallest finger of their hand.

Not only was I not impressed, I immediately began second-guessing my decision to give him the twenty.

Maybe I should have, could have.

Not worth the energy wasted.

What’s done is done.

I hope other drivers who have the pleasure of meeting this guy up close, bloodshot eyes and all, don’t get trigger-happy.

I hope cooler heads prevail.

And, I hope they only have one-dollar bills in their wallet.

 

My “Rideshare by Robert” Blog column contains creative non-fiction short stories, pics, graphics, poems, and musings continuing the journey of my published book, “Rideshare by Robert: Every Ride’s a Short Story.”

I hope you find the writings informational, humorous, and filled with compassion for the human family.

My second “Rideshare by Robert” book will include selected blogs, pics, and graphics published in the Baltimore Post-Examiner.  

So, climb in, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

Welcome to “Rideshare by Robert.”

A place where anything can happen and usually does.

 

Disclaimer

I have tried to provide anonymity to all individuals portrayed in my writings while maintaining the story’s integrity. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. And, in some cases, the not-so-innocent. I have substituted the characteristics of individuals in my writings to further my attempt to maintain anonymity. Conversations and other details are based on my best recollection and notes. Although I have spent time driving with many celebrities and public figures over the years, I’ve intentionally omitted their names in my writings. I’ve also modified actual locales along with other details, such as when and where the rides occurred, to maintain my objective of rider privacy and anonymity.