If I were a canine only,
I could live by olfactory
And smell my way to mindfulness.
I could sniff any crotch I like,
And bite anyone’s ass in spite.
I could slobber all over your beautiful face
And dry hump anyone in their private little space.
I could lick my privates in public,
then thrash your pretty toes
and go out and urinate, even in a school zone.
I can bark when I like,
Without disturbing the peace,
And you’d always take me for walks,
Never being too busy for me.
I can devour that sweet pussy
The cat but no blame in that
Because old dogs will always be just like that.
So, if I were a canine,
I could live the American Dream
Without making a damn thing,
And no matter what shape or color,
I would never be called a “stupid motherfucker.”
I can caress drunken homophobic balls,
And only he’d be accused
Of having gay sex with a dog.
It would be no matter to me
Because we love dogs unconditionally,
So, when I imagine a pretty lass holding me,
Even when I bite,
I’m in the mood for canine mindfulness;
Just wanting my desire to be alright.
Earl Yarington is a social worker (LMSW) and a professor. He has a Ph.D. in literature and criticism and specializes in paraphilias. He is the Leader of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists Special Interest Group and often writes about human sexuality and politics.