‘My Fair Wedding’ is a major turn off; Not fit to be in the trash class of ‘The Kardashians’

OK  Call me corny, but I love David Tutera.  I love him.

He’s not only the wedding planner and featured item of WE’s My Fair Wedding, he is The Wedding Saver.  He saves weddings.  Girlfriend wants a beautiful wedding, but doesn’t have a dress?!  David Tutera, The Wedding Saver, is there.  Girlfriend’s girlfriends don’t like the color of their bridesmaids dresses?!  David Tutera, The Wedding Saver, is there.  Girlfriend needs someone special to walk her down the aisle?!  David Tutera, The Wedding Saver, is there to give the bride away.

David alone does the trick.  He doesn’t need to touch the wedding – that’s just a bonus.  Simply showing up at the bride’s house sends her over the edge in a wave of tears.

showposter“My wedding savior!  I never thought he’d come!”

Girls watching the show can stop dreaming about a random knight on a white horse and start waiting for David to make all their dreams come true.  That’s how important, effective, and essential David Tutera, The Wedding Saver, can be.

And if that’s not enough, let’s say this endearing bride who survived cancer didn’t get the proposal she always wanted?  David is there to plan the perfect proposal.  As the flawless scene unfolds, David is standing by with a tray and three glasses of champagne (the groom is allowed to be there, too).  Only David Tutera, The Wedding Saver, could avoid being the third wheel.  He is the perfect man.  Every girl would have him.  Plan their wedding, I mean.

Not so with My Fair Wedding: Unveiled, in which we lose any intimacy between David Tutera, The Wedding Saver, and bride-to-be.  David watches a video of the bride from the safe perch of his office penthouse.  He and his staff laugh at the absurdity that is the bride and her wedding plans.  The bride, not chosen because of some significant trial she’s overcome, appears to be selected solely for shock value.  In this case, she is a burlesque dancer, wants a burlesque themed wedding, and intends to wear a red latex wedding dress.  With tassels.  Tassels.

I suppose they are trying to create a wedding scenario that The Wedding Saver just can’t save, but we all know even latex isn’t kryptonite to David Tutera.  He straps on a new, biting attitude and, along with unnecessarily tense music, pushes to create a more dramatic scene, trying to advise the bride in a tassel-free direction and keep the burlesque dancing best man/maid of honor at bay.

These stabs at dramatic flair fall flat because we all know this isn’t how the lion-hearted David Tutera, Wedding Saver, behaves.  We know he loves his brides, cares for his brides, and wouldn’t allow a scene in front of his brides.  What is aimed at creating more intrigue and garnishing more viewers is so off-putting I had to turn the whole thing off midway.  I don’t even know if he pulled a “classy” burlesque themed wedding together.  I didn’t care to know.

keeping-up-with-the-kardashiansThe thing about David Tutera’s My Fair Wedding was that he chose brides who deserved a big day of their own.  And he treated them like royalty, creating Disney Princess magical scenes.  Even the crying upon seeing him, however predictable, was understood because David himself appeared to be magic.

If I want to watch trash, I have my pick.  The Kardashians, Honey Boo Boo, and The Bachelorette can all do me some ego-boosting favors.  But if I want to watch sophisticated care, a man making a girl’s dreams come true, tears of relief, hope, and utter joy…I guess I’ll have to start looking for my Cinderella story elsewhere.