My name is Jaimie, and I’m a Sexter. Yes, I’m bringing sexting back.
Part of the Joy in Sext is that it can happen on Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Texting, Hangouts, SnapChat, Facetime, Skype, Tinder, okcupid, and more! If you see me standing in line at the grocery store feverishly typing into my phone and giggling, chances are I’m sexting right there in public. I can sext anywhere, I’ve even sexted in front of my parents. #sorrymom
Sexting is hot. I’ve sexted with guys I barely know (I pretend it’s Jared Leto). And I’ve been known to sext with special friends that live far away or are traveling (especially when they’re on tour). #ilovemusicians
But, there is a fine art to sexting:
- Don’t send photos you wouldn’t want the paparazzi to get ahold of if your blog ever becomes famous.
- Make sure you get your best angles (suck in that belly)!
- Color correction is your friend.
- Keep it classy.
- Don’t send pics of the naughty bits!
I’ve had one special sexter for the past 7 years … yes, even when I had a boyfriend. The thing is, in all these years it has never been perverse or gotten past “what are you wearing?”
The downside in sexting? Men are idiots. No, I don’t want a picture of you standing in front of the mirror showing me your penis. I would rather have a romantic picture of you holding flowers in front of the mirror (with your shirt off).
Sexting must be a two-way street, no random weirdos asking for a hook-up, especially on Facebook!
Clueless Cal: Just cus im all kinds of bored. What are the chances for a one night hook up?
Me: Uh no.
- A. I’m hoping that was some kind of April Fools joke and you don’t know the date… But on the off chance that is how you “hit on” women I think you need some pointers!
- B. I’m still astonished you think that would be enough effort to get in my pants?!? You need to put the effort in and find a girl that is not so clearly out of your league.
- C. Are you completely delusional as to what that message actually implies? Obviously…
- D. There are no circumstances that “just cus im all kinds of bored” is a turn on for sex!! You’ll do better with “Hey, I just won the lottery!” or “I found pills to make my dick bigger!”
- E. Assuming that you’re opening line wasn’t insulting enough, do you really think you can seal a deal like that with one sentence on Facebook?
- F. FUCK NO.
PISSTIFIED (adj): 1. The state of being equal parts angry and bewildered. 2. Hybrid word that summarizes your emotions when you’re pissed off and mystified at the same time.
Sext me on Twitter if you dare @jaimiebeebe and follow my Instagram FeatherGirl77 because I want more stalkers. Now you can even tell me how you feel on the Mancation Facebook page, with videos coming soon!
At the age of 36, Jaimie has gone on one adventure after another. Getting an idea in her head she isn’t afraid to jump into action… Usually with no planning and never considering the consequences. At 17 she left her small Iowa town to follow the band Phish and live in her car, she spent time protesting logging in Oregon, got arrested for organizing a topless march in Ohio, received a Bachelor’s degree in photography, spent a month camping in the forest at a rainbow gathering, received a Master’s degree in Music Management, managed some rock bands, modeled for Playboy, slept with a rock & roll legend a few times (hey, you would too), sold real estate in Los Angeles, bought a condo in Las Vegas and lost it to the bank when the market crashed, built her house in the Hollywood Hills in a bikini after the contractor she hired stole her money, took classes to become a magician, wrote articles and columns published in several magazines and websites, ran a production company, produced commercials with huge stars like John Stamos and Betty White and currently owns a casting company. And now she’s taking her readers with her on her next adventure: Mancation.