Buying gifts for someone else’s significant other – a no-no?
A few weeks ago, a girl at the gym asked Awesome out on a date. After he realized what she was implying, he immediately told her that he had a girlfriend, awkwardly walked away and texted me to tell me what happened.
I was more amused by the encounter than upset because I trust my boyfriend and I know he is happy in our relationship.
This week, the same girl came into the gym, handed Awesome a bottle of Fireball cinnamon whiskey in a gift bag and told him that it was a “thank you present” for teaching her sister and cousin how to climb.
This gesture upset me for a number of reasons.
I was willing to look past her asking my boyfriend out because how was she to know he had a girlfriend? It’s not like he walks around with a sign. I’ve made the same mistake myself in the past. But this time, she already possessed the knowledge that he was taken and still chose to give him a present. And it’s not just that she gave him a present. It’s that she gave him a present for essentially no reason. Teaching people how to climb is his job. He gets paid to do it. It’s not like he was doing her a special favor by teaching her sister and cousin – he wasn’t even aware that she was related to them.
All of my anger about this girl doing this is a moot point because I completely trust Awesome. In fact, he gave the present back to her, thanking her for the thought but telling her that he could not accept the gift. It’s not that I’m jealous. It just makes me mad that she seems to have no regard for the fact that he has a girlfriend. I’m not going around buying gifts for my married coworkers just because they answered their phone yesterday. The only time I will buy a gift for an attached man is if: A) I am good friends with his girlfriend/wife or B) I was friends with him before he was with the girlfriend/wife.
To me, it seems that cheating has become almost mainstream in its popularity. It’s a form of entertainment. Talk show hosts use cheating spouses to boost their ratings, radio shows trick the cheating lover into admitting they are dishonest and laugh about it, reality shows exploit affairs left and right to gain viewers. It’s no wonder this girl thinks it’s totally OK to give an inappropriate gift to my boyfriend – society very nearly approves of infidelity. She probably hopes he is either unhappy enough to leave me or stupid enough to cheat on me.
Of course, all of this could be completely blown out of proportion and I could be overreacting big time. I realize I can be a jealous person. But it’s not because I don’t trust Awesome – it’s because I don’t trust young women.
Either way, in my opinion, Awesome has now turned this girl down twice. The third time it happens, it won’t be him turning her down – it will be me.
And I’ll be turning her down by punching her in the face.
Emily Little (nee Campbell) was a perpetually single girl who recently met and married her Mr. Right. Her blog, Dating Emily, has been a two-year diary of her adventures in relationships. Her life of bar-hopping and casual dating has turned into one of dog-walking, craft-making and budgeting for eventual home ownership. But just because she can make a mean casserole doesn’t mean her adventures are over. As she prepares to become a first-time homeowner and eventually, a mom, she is discovering that the adventure may just be beginning.