I was waiting for Awesome to finish taking a shower on Friday night and while channel surfing, I stumbled onto this ridiculous show called “Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas” on WeTV.
Has anyone seen this crazy shit?
They take five couples, all women who have appeared on the reality show, “Bridezillas,” put them in a house together, and have them participate in this boot camp marriage counseling program. “Bridezillas” in itself is a cringeworthy show about women going insane as they plan and execute their weddings. “Marriage Boot Camp” takes a step further into Crazytown by airing all the couples’ dirty laundry. Usually these shows just get on my nerves, but for some reason I was enthralled by the ridiculous drama. I felt myself being sucked in by the five couples’ crazy tractor beam.
Remy and Rob are a Jersey couple so selfish that, upon seeing their bedroom – complete with king size bed, walk-in closet and their own bathroom – declared that even homeless people would refuse to stay in a room that “small.” Porsha and Byron are a Southern couple with infidelity issues who also need subtitles because they are so hard to understand.
Melissa got mad on her “Bridezillas” episode when her husband Chris cried because she said he was a wimp. Danni and Marlon, the only normal couple, seem to just have some intimacy issues since the birth of their first daughter. And no reality show would be complete without an epic train wreck like Kirsten, whose voice is so high and squeaky that no one believes it’s really hers, and who walked out on the therapy session when the counselors told her that she was meaner to her husband Seth than he was to her.
Just watching five minutes of this show makes me so incredibly happy that neither I nor my boyfriend Awesome are batshit crazy. We aren’t perfect, we do argue sometimes, but for the most part, we are equal partners who are sane who still like to spend time together. Probably our biggest issue is deciding what we want for dinner (he is super picky and I am not so much.)
The best part of the show (besides the insanity of the couples) are the four counselors. Two of the counselors are married – Jim and Elizabeth Carroll – and their marriage boot camp program is actually a legit program for couples in need. The other two counselors, Dana and David, are no-nonsense therapists who, along with Jim and Elizabeth, tell it like it is. In a one-on-one counseling session with Jersey nutjobs Remy and Rob, the first sentence out of Elizabeth’s mouth was “You are just making dumbass mistakes.” Then Jim nicknamed them – “Meathead” for Rob and “Spoiled Brat” for Remy.
Now these are my kind of counselors. If your marriage is in trouble to the point where you choose a brand new Mercedes over quality time with your spouse, you need a counselor who is going to kick your ass and kick it good. I would never waste time with a counselor who makes excuses for my ridiculous behavior.
Anyway, I’ve found my new guilty pleasure. Which I will need to hide from Awesome because he walked out of the shower, saw how I was staring at the TV with drool coming out of my mouth and asked me what the hell I was watching. I quickly turned it off. But not before hitting the DVR button to record it so I can watch it the next time he goes out with the boys.
Emily Little (nee Campbell) was a perpetually single girl who recently met and married her Mr. Right. Her blog, Dating Emily, has been a two-year diary of her adventures in relationships. Her life of bar-hopping and casual dating has turned into one of dog-walking, craft-making and budgeting for eventual home ownership. But just because she can make a mean casserole doesn’t mean her adventures are over. As she prepares to become a first-time homeowner and eventually, a mom, she is discovering that the adventure may just be beginning.