Parental alienation leaves a hurricane of pain - Baltimore Post-ExaminerBaltimore Post-Examiner

Parental alienation leaves a hurricane of pain

Parental alienation is one of the cruelest forms of mental and emotional abuse that anyone can ever experience in their lifetime.

It robs a loving parent of all that is sacred to them, their children, their mental and emotional well-being and on occasion their very lives. They suffer great loss as they struggle to regain some sense of normalcy during their battle to be reunited with their children.

Depression, fear, self-doubt and many other emotions will consume them with a ferocity that most people will never know. Many times sleep will evade them as they try desperately to sort out the multitude of questions as to why this is happening to them. Lack of appetite is a common occurrence when food no longer seems important and this simply heightens the dangers to our health.

Wandering through this process is like walking in the midst of a minefield, as they know each step can be disastrous. Without a strong support network of people who have gone down this path or the assistance a competent and well trained mental health professional, these parents will suffer at an alarming height. They must seek ways to begin the coping and healing process to move forward.

But what about the children? How does this effect their lives? Do they not matter in all of this? Of course they do. They are most important and deserve without hesitation all the love, support and protection from both parents. They are a bi-product of who we are and the love we have inside us. They must always be made to feel they are deserving of all the positive things we can give them.

When parental alienation occurs, it is nothing short of a betrayal to these children perpetrated by the vindictive actions of one parent in their quest to harm their former spouse or partner due to a failed relationship. The short and long term consequences for these actions is insurmountable and without direct and immediate intervention, the negative effects may and do last a lifetime.

Rest assured, parental alienation is abuse and those who deny this are either, the alienating parent themselves, enablers or someone who will profit. When someone purposely chooses to use their children as a weapon against their former spouse and causes extreme emotional harm, it affects the child, as well. There is no doubt that children are caught in the middle and will experience pain though the loss of a parent.

So, the question to ask ourselves is how do we end this epidemic of abuse? Do we pretend the family courts will act in the best interest of our children? How about trusting that somehow, someway our former spouse will suddenly wake up and smell the proverbial roses and understand that what they are doing is wrong?

When parental alienation begins its path of destruction, sadly, it seldom changes course. Instead, much like a hurricane it most likely will intensify in strength and destroy anything in its way. The same is true with the family courts. Until they conduct hearings in the same manner as criminal courts do by demanding evidence in testimony, the abuse will continue.

Until the day arrives when the playing field is leveled, we alienated parents and our children will continue to miss out on all the love and bonds that should have been. We will not be able to enjoy the sharing of memories that were meant to be. Each hour of each day that goes by is another loss for us alienated parents and our children and another win for the alienator.

Certainly, there must be a way that we can turn this form of abuse around and end it. For myself, I choose to promote awareness to the harmful effects caused by one person, their enablers and the very system itself – who is meant to uphold our rights as parents and our children. In doing so, it is my hope that I can provide others the ammo to make change a reality.

Until this day arrives, remember that parental alienation is abuse against both, the target parent and their victim children. This means you must do your best to help spread awareness – parental alienation is abuse.

Read more of my reflections in my book “Parental Alienation is ABUSE” at: Amazon or  Amazon Kindle.


About the author

David Shubert

David R Shubert is a left behind and alienated parent who has been fighting to be in his daughter and step-son's lives for over ten years now. He understands the dynamics involved in the mental and emotional aspects that all alienated parents are forced to endue. After becoming disillusioned with the family courts he decided to take matters into own hands to promote awareness on the various social media outlets. He felt that he needed to write about what millions of other parents go through when their child has been parentally abducted or alienated from the other parent. His reflections are now read all over the world by parents suffering the same abuse that was inflicted upon him and his children. His words are sometimes raw in form, but he knows that others need to become aware of what is happening around them to victim parents. Further, he connects with these same parents in such a way they understand they are not alone and there will always someone there to support them in their hour of need. He gives them a voice that is many times, silenced by the vindictive and intimidating actions of a former spouse or partner as well as, the sometimes erroneous decisions of the family courts. Contact the author.

One Comment

  1. Aiden and Seth, I hope one day you stumble upon this comment and read it, and realize that what you have been through is not your fault. You were always both good kids, and you are growing into strong and intelligent young men with good hearts, and I am very proud of you. Your sister Haley misses you very much, and she hopes that she can be reunited with you one day.
    As for me, I am broken. I cannot fight anymore. Every day my heart and mind is consumed by my grief and longing for our relationship to be restored, but after five years, I can’t go on like this. I have to put it away and focus on other things. Should you ever decide to look me up, I will be in Orlando, like always, and not difficult to find. My door and my heart will always be open to both of you. Please believe that I don’t blame you for any of this, and I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through.
    Remember to be kind and forgiving to each other. The turmoil and strife between you two is not because of who you are, but because you have been played against each other. Don’t let the fact that you were treated differently drive a wedge between you. You are brothers, no matter what. I love you both, yesterday, today, and always.
    Walter Singleton, your Dad

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