How much should you tell your mom? How about everything?
My mom and I have a really close relationship. I pretty much tell her everything that is happening in my life. This includes any relationship stories I may happen to have up my sleeve. She also gives great advice, and it is my belief that in order to get great advice you need to be honest so I have to tell her the whole story if I want a good opinion.
Some of my friends are very close with their mothers but would never dream of talking to them about dating, relationships, sex, drinking too much, or any other societally “taboo” subjects. In fact, my mother doles out a lot of advice to my friends because they feel like they would be sharing too much if it were their mother, but since it’s my mom it’s OK. No subject in her house is off limits, and that generally leads to a great time and a lot of laughs whenever I or anyone else is there.
In regards to dating, it hasn’t really changed since my mom was younger. I think the concept of dating has changed a bit – she doesn’t seem to understand the differences between hooking up, dating, and being in a relationship but I can’t keep up either so I can’t blame her. But she still dated a bunch of crazy nut jobs just like me. One time a guy she was dating ordered a pizza and got mad that the bottom was greasy so he threw it up against the wall of the pizzeria and demanded another one. This was the same guy who was driving, stopped in the middle of the road, opened the car door and ran into the woods because they were fighting. My mother, being the logical person she is, just got out and drove the car home.
But how much is too much? I tell my mom pretty much everything and she tells me a lot of stuff in return. She is also hilarious. The other day we were talking about penis sizes and she told me that in her 20s she dated a guy who told her that he had “7 inches of pink steel” for her. She said when she saw it she told him, “Um, I think you meant 6.”
Hearing these stories is not weird for me because I am used to my mother saying pretty much whatever pops into her head. She loves the “shock factor” – seeing someone’s face when she says something ridiculous is the best part of her day. The only time I ask that she not share everything with me is if a story involves someone I know, like my dad, or someone she dated who is still around. I don’t want to know about any of that because then it just gets too real, and then it goes from being hilarious to being gross and awkward.
If you aren’t sharing everything with your own mom, that is completely okay. There are times when I wish I hadn’t told her something, or I think, “Oh maybe I went too far with that one.”
Many people don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents about sex or dating, and I find that completely normal. In fact, it’s probably my mom and I who are the abnormal ones. And that is totally fine with us.
Feature photo: My mom holding me as a baby.
Emily Little (nee Campbell) was a perpetually single girl who recently met and married her Mr. Right. Her blog, Dating Emily, has been a two-year diary of her adventures in relationships. Her life of bar-hopping and casual dating has turned into one of dog-walking, craft-making and budgeting for eventual home ownership. But just because she can make a mean casserole doesn’t mean her adventures are over. As she prepares to become a first-time homeowner and eventually, a mom, she is discovering that the adventure may just be beginning.