Could Carter Replace Biden on Presidential Ticket?

Plains, GA – In a startling new development, sources behind the scenes within the Democratic Party are saying that former President Jimmy Carter is seriously being considered to replace embattled President Joe Biden.

Chiefly working in Carter’s favor is the undeniable fact that he isn’t one of the other oft-mentioned potential candidates.

Don’t write Carter off,” exclaimed our source, who spoke with us from deep inside the bowels of the DNC. “He may be getting a little long in those famous teeth, but he still has a lot to offer. First – thanks to Joe Biden – Jimmy is no longer the worst president in American history. That’s an absolutely amazing achievement, when you stop and think about it!

Jimmy Carter campaign button

Another fun fact is that Jimmy has solid credentials as a peacemaker in the Middle East. Just take a look at those smiling photos of Jimmy with Anwar Sadat and Menachem Begin. I mean, yeah, Israel isn’t at war with Egypt right now, but most college protesters aren’t aware of that. They seem to think ‘From the river to the sea’ has something to do with the Nile and waters which used to encircle Atlantis!

As for the question of ‘Can Jimmy run again?’, I think we’ve put that whole age issue to rest. Most of our voter base agrees that age is only a 2 or 3 digit number. Plus, keep in mind, there is nothing in the Constitution which would prevent Jimmy from entering the race. The other big names which were floated have maxed out on their 22nd Amendment eligibility. Bill Clinton, as you know, has already served two terms, and Barack Obama is about to finish term number three.

Now, to the matter on every thinking person’s mind these days – mental acuity – all we can say is that several Democratic governors met with Carter last week, and they will attest that the former president did a great job and he answered every question.

One more huge factor, which weighs heavily in his favor, is the recent passing of Jimmy’s devoted wife Rosalynn. That might seem puzzling to some – and absolutely no one here wants to hurt anybody’s feelings – but we’ve really thought this one through. And the truth is that, unless Jimmy suddenly marries Amy Carter’s former babysitter – or something like that – with a widowed president, the country would be spared another cringe-worthy episode of Edith Wilson 2.0.”

Ironically, Carter is the one potential candidate who could conceivably convince the current president to step aside. The two families apparently have a unique connection, in that Biden’s late uncle allegedly served on a submarine with Carter, or at least with someone named Jimmy.

Little was known of this war-time connection until recently, when Biden reported that – during intense fighting “near the Meraiflginal Atoll” – his uncle was swept away in a sudden storm, then paddled a balloon basket to a mysterious island, where he was eaten alive by a giant chicken.

When asked if the party had a workable Plan B, should Jimmy Carter refuse the novel offer, our source replied, “Gee, I’m not sure. Who is Taylor Swift dating these days?”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.