Annette Funicello, Now it’s time to say goodbye
Annette Funicello passed away Monday (April 8, 2013). For those who may be far too young to know, she was the Miley Cyrus or the Britney Spears of my generation.
Except that she didn’t dress like an employee of a Hollywood escort service when she was 15. And if Annette had dressed that way, circa early 1960’s, I would not have minded one pre-pubescent hormone. The young kids have it so much better these days, but back then we didn’t know the difference. She was just super hot, in a restricted, 1950’s Disney mentality sort of way.
The era of the first Mickey Mouse Club was vastly different than today. It actually started in 1955, before I was born. By the time I became aware of the Mouseketeers the show was in its final season. And then Mom and Pop had the glorious idea to live without television for a few years.
That was a terrible time in the Forkes Home.
Back in those days bikinis were a new sensation and oh so scandalous. The idea of teen idols and Disney girls dressing like sexpot adults — well no one would have ever dreamed of such a thing. Well, some of the young boys did, but living in such repressed times we kept those thoughts to ourselves. We did have their pictures on our walls or hidden from view so only we could look at them, or so we thought.
- The Mouseketeers in 1957.
(Wiki Commons)
Not a chance we’d go into Confession and tell Father Klink, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. My last Confession was last Saturday. A couple times this week I had impure thoughts of Haley Mills and Annette Funicello wearing skimpy bikinis …”
- Father Klink: “Forget penance, you little wretch of a pervert. You’re gonna burn in HELL for all eternity!”
- In actuality I … I mean we … might have gotten ten “Hail Marys” and three “Our Fathers” and maybe an “Apostle’s Creed” thrown in for good measure as penance, but as a little kid sex was so sinful and the church so adamant about it, well I … we … just didn’t have the courage to confess such a sin as imagining a childhood crush in a bikini, or — (GASP!) — NEKKID!
- I won’t even confess to that here!
Then came Babes in Toyland and the Beach Party movies. Mom took us kids to see Babes in Toyland, but for the beach movies we had to sneak off to the matinees on our own.
- Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello from the Beach Party days.
(Wiki Commons)
There were girls in bikinis gyrating all over the screen and by golly, that was too much hormonal stimulation for a pre-pubescent young boy. Not to mention: SINFUL!
The first of these movies, Beach Party, featured Playboy Playmate Yvette Vickers as Yoga Girl. Before I actually saw this first one I had seen my first Playboy Magazine (December 1968) and was far more intrigued by Playmates than Annette Funicello.
That was about the time I hit puberty. The hippie era had been in full swing and I was more interested in the Beatles “White” album, Jimi Hendrix and the Mothers of Invention. Annette’s music was really sappy by then, meant for children and you know I was all grown up, in a 13-year old kind of way. But the Beach Party movies had the girls dancing in bikinis, so they were well worth watching for a young teen.
Over the years we would occasionally see Annette on some TV show or a commercial here and there, but for the most part Annette Funicello, along with Hayley Mills, was relegated to that first crush status when as a wee child I had no idea what sex and romance were all about. Actually, I’m still kind of fuzzy on that romance thing.
- Annette Funicello and Frankie AValon posing for a publicity photo for the Associated Press.
In 1987 she and Frankie Avalon teamed up for a parody of their Beach Party movies called Back to the Beach. You know I saw it. After that we didn’t see or hear from Annette for several years until she announced she was suffering from multiple sclerosis. It was shocking news for long time fans, those who had grown up with Annette and thought of her as “family.” We were as familiar with her as she was unfamiliar with each of us.
By all accounts Annette Funicello loved her fans, from the very first week she started getting fan mail at Disney until her last days, but she couldn’t believe she was so popular and beloved. Her long time friend Frankie Avalon told the Associated Press, “She would say, ‘Really?’ She was so bashful about it. She was an amazing girl.” Adding, “She really had a tough existence. It’s like losing a family member. I’m devastated, but I’m not surprised.”
So it was with great sadness we learned that the girl of our childhood dreams had passed away.
Annette Joann Funicello — October 22, 1942 to April 8, 2013. Thank you for the dreams and entertainment. May you smile in tranquility for all eternity in the Grand Club in Heaven. Rest in Peace.
Tim Forkes started as a writer on a small alternative college newspaper in Milwaukee called the Crazy Shepherd. Writing about entertainment issues, he had the opportunity to speak with many people in show business, from the very famous to the people struggling to find an audience. In 1992 Tim moved to San Diego, CA and pursued other interests, but remained a freelance writer. Upon arrival in Southern California he was struck by how the business of government and business was so intertwined, far more so than he had witnessed in Wisconsin. His interest in entertainment began to wane and the business of politics took its place. He had always been interested in politics, his mother had been a Democratic Party official in Milwaukee, WI, so he sat down to dinner with many of Wisconsin’s greatest political names of the 20th Century: William Proxmire and Clem Zablocki chief among them. As a Marine Corps veteran, Tim has a great interest in veteran affairs, primarily as they relate to the men and women serving and their families. As far as Tim is concerned, the military-industrial complex has enough support. How the men and women who serve are treated is reprehensible, while in the military and especially once they become veterans. Tim would like to help change that reality.