Technically XBox-challenged? Nah, I don’t GET it.

I’m not one of those people you would call technologically inclined.

Awesome (my boyfriend in case you are newcomer to the blog) would probably call me “ignorant of future, current or past trends concerning all technology ever.”

I don’t have an IPhone or the latest version of a Droid. The last video game I played was on Sega Genesis (the version that came out in like 1996). When Awesome brought his new TV into the apartment I tried for a good ten minutes to view the cable guide with the remote that is only for the TV. It blows my mind that Awesome can download a movie on his phone and then somehow he can bring it up on the TV so I can watch it.

Suffice it to say, I am technologically ignorant. And I kind of like it that way. Awesome does not. Some announcement about a new XBox came out this week and people are apparently peeing their pants over it. We were talking about it and I starting asking what I thought were reasonable questions:

Emily: What is the difference between the old XBox and the new one?

Awesome: So the first XBox to ever come out in 2001, it was the next Gen system and in direct competition with the Playstation 2 which was the next Gen console from the Playstation 1.

Emily: What is “next Gen” is that like, the brand or something?

Awesome: It is the next generation of technology.

Emily: So like, IPhone 5?

Awesome: Yes. But they release game consoles at a slower pace.

Emily: Which XBox version is this?

Awesome: The 3rd Gen.

Emily: So why can’t they just call it XBox 3?

Awesome: It is called the XBox One.

Emily: Why would they call it XBox One if it’s the third one they have made in a series?

Awesome: They always have some stupid meaning behind the names.

Emily: So it was XBox, then XBox 360, and now XBox One?

Awesome: Yes, exactly.

Emily: What is the difference between those three devices?

Awesome: Basically, consoles are computers with proprietary parts and coding.

Emily: What does it do?

Awesome: Each generation is a leap forward in technology and power, like upgrading your computer.

Emily: Does it play games, play movies, bake cookies, what? Why is the XBox One better than the XBox 360?

Awesome: Does everything but each console is more powerful than the last providing more features and better graphics

Emily: …Why would you need a new one if the old one already does all the stuff?

I continued to harangue him about why we need a new Xbox when we still have a perfectly good Xbox sitting in the living room. Then he informed me that we have a Playstation, not an Xbox.

Oops.

I’m sure some women are as obsessed with the latest technology as much as the next man, but this woman just doesn’t get it. Why can’t we just stick with the stuff that works perfectly well? I still have one of those analog TVs with a VCR built in. It’s more than 10 years old and the thing works great, has a nice picture and I can play my tapes on it. I don’t understand this whole “have to buy the latest new thing“ because the latest new thing is only new for a week and then they come out with something else more expensive that you don’t need.

I’m sure some readers will share Awesome’s opinion of my lack of knowledge (“It blows my mind how you don’t get it”) but I know others out there will know where I am coming from. Plus, like I told him, it’s not a matter of intelligence, but of understanding: “Babe, I get it. I just don’t GET it.”