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Change your passwords post break-up

Emily Campbell

I was going through my mail at work one morning when I came across a spam email from a colleague at a different company who I communicate with on a semi-regular basis. The message was one of those “earn your degree by clicking this link” scams, and I didn’t think much about it other than “Ooh, sucks her email got hacked” before I deleted it.

The colleague then wrote an email to her address book apologizing for the spam email and said that a disgruntled ex-boyfriend who was bitter about their breakup and “failed marriage proposal” had hacked her email to “get revenge.” I was confused. Her ex though that the best way to get revenge for their breakup was by sending out a dumb spam email that no one would fall for? What a douche.

Has your email been hacked?
Has your email been hacked?

Of course, that was when all the S hit the fan. The ex must not have liked her telling everyone how lame he was because he let loose with a three-page essay that should have been titled “Proof That My Ex is Satan” and sent it to her entire address book.

I’m not going to lie. I read it. It was three pages long for crying out loud, and it was super juicy. All kinds sex, drugs and rock-n-roll accusations. It also was sad. Not only for the girl the email was about (if any of it was true) but also for the ex-boyfriend, who only accomplished looking like a bitter asshole with nothing better to do.

I’m all for sharing stuff with your partner. My boyfriend knows all of my passwords, and I know his. Neither of us is the type of person who would do anything like this guy. But then again, doesn’t everyone think that when you are dating? If you thought they were batshit crazy-town then you probably wouldn’t be dating them (or you would, because some of you out there are also batshit crazy-town and you like that kind of thing).

Surveys show that among youths - about 30 percent of couples share their password with their significant others - a sign of trust.
Surveys show that among youths – about 30 percent of couples share their password with their significant others – a sign of trust.

If you’re going to share passwords with your significant other, then please for the love of God change them after you break up. This is especially good advice if you had a painful or angry split, or if you were the breaker-upper instead of the breakee. And don’t change it to “password” or “123123,” put some damn thought into it and make sure it’s not something that your ex could guess. If they are really determined (and when I say “determined” I mean “insane”) there are ways for them to hack you but at least you aren’t giving it to them on a silver platter. This advice goes double if your ex knows your PIN number.

If you are one of the people on the other side, obsessively thinking about hacking into your ex’s email/Facebook/Twitter while you rub your hands together and cackle to yourself in the corner – please back away from the computer at top speed and take a cold shower. You don’t need to go to the bad place.

Take a second and think about it.

Aside from the satisfying but very fleeting feeling of begotten revenge, there are essentially no other positive feelings that could result from your behavior. You look jealous, angry, stupid, bitter, and – perhaps most important of all – you’re still alone. Busting out an angry but cleverly worded email doesn’t take away the hurt feelings and the fact that your relationship didn’t work, no matter how true the words may be.