Sounds crazy, right?
What would they be doing in Virginia? It’s usually a cornfield in Kansas where they do their crop circles, but Virginia? The Beltway? Guess they aren’t in Kansas anymore.
All kidding aside: Let’s get to the real story just in case you missed it. The June 13-14 incident involved the usual bright lights, crash landing from outer limits, cars not working and the military rushing in to clean up the mess and then floating a story that contradicts eyewitness reports. And, of course, witnesses are too scared to use their real names. They don’t want to get abducted or anything. Not like that ever happened.
Others who claimed they saw little green men in Virginia or alien ships don’t give their real names to the press because most likely they are unemployed and don’t need prospective employers reading about it and then asking about it during the interview process.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with that question. Let us educate you on when it will be asked. We can say from experiences it’s usually question No. 3 and it goes like this: “So how long have you seen little green men walking the earth?”
The answer, of course, is to ask the person doing the interview: “Why? Are you one of them?”
Nevertheless the UFO crash has lit up Twitter, Facebook and 911 calls as the truly next Roswell incident and even FOX NEWS did a news report. Don’t believe it? Really, come on, FOX does a news story once in awhile. But we don’t blame you. We have a lot of skeptics here. We still don’t believe George W. Bush won the presidency.
Juliee London tweeted multiple photos of the object, writing, “UFO spotting in Maryland?” And then it went viral. Soon more media jumped on the story around the globe.
NBC reported that a UFO was being pulled behind a tractor trailer so it wasn’t actually flying and the truckers who claimed it was flying – well – we will get to that in a minute.
The military described it as an 82 foot-long unmanned military aircraft, known as an X-47B drone. Maryland State Police had towed it on a flatbed trailer from Garrett County to the Naval Air Station Patuxent River. It apparently began its long trip from California.
NBC even quoted Matt Funk, the lead test engineer who said in the coming months expect “to see the X-47B flying over the base and surrounding area along the Chesapeake Bay.”
FOX NEWS reported witnesses claiming they saw it being towed at 11 p.m. on I- 270 and later I-495.
So it was not actually flying. Yeah right. Why not just say it was a weather balloon? As you recall, that worked for nearly half of century.
But what really happened with this supposedly latest UFO encounter? After exhaustive research, a few scenarios we would like to beam your way that seem more plausible than a truck towing a military drone from California. Here is what we think may have happened:
- Hollywood is making the next Battle: Los Angles alien movie called Battle: Virginia
- Mass Beltway hysteria was engineered by the Tea “Pot” Party? Really, who do you want in charge if we are under an Alien attack – Surely not a Democrat?
- Charlie Sheen is just messing with us
But seriously, what if they are here? Why would they come now?
Perhaps to celebrate the unions falling apart. Until we get a one-on-one interview, we won’t know for sure. What we do know is the unions want collective bargaining rights, fair wages, safe working conditions and opportunity to live the American Dream. Everyone wants that except the majority of people in Wisconsin and apparently some aliens.
OK, enough politicizing the incident.
Here’s an eyewitness account that came to us through a respected member in the media who has spent nearly three decades working for some of the top news organizations in the country. She was in contact with a source who saw it first-hand. She asked not to be identified because she didn’t want the military come knocking on her door and she’s looking for a job and doesn’t want to be asked question No. 3.
Now we are getting serious. This report should not be read to little children. It completely contracts the military and FOX NEWS.
She gathered these facts for us. She got a call from a good friend whom she has known for more than a quarter of century. The friend’s name is Roger. OK, that’s not his real name because he doesn’t want the aliens to hunt him down. He’s a D.C. truck driver who has been hauling loads for nearly 18 years and has been driving a short-haul route between Washington and Virginia for about a decade.
We know what you are thinking. Seems like it’s always a truck driver who sees this stuff but then not all of us are driving on the road 24 hours so it makes sense. So let’s go with it a bit.
He was driving south on I-95 (not the same highway as other witnesses claimed earlier) on his usual run in the vicinity of Ashland and Spotsylvania, Va., at about 2:45 a.m. (not the 11 p.m. time other witnesses claimed to see the truck towing the drone) Suddenly to the east he saw a very bright light that lit up the whole sky “like it was daytime,” he says.
His cellphone went out for nine minutes meaning he could not call or receive calls. He probably was using Sprint, but just guessing here. Calls would connect but he couldn’t hear anything nor could the people he called hear him. Then his truck lights flickered. Other trucks and cars on the highway experienced similar malfunctioning, he says.
“I’ve never see anything go that fast,” Roger said. (Obviously, he was not a NASCAR fan.) “They were hiding something that came out of space. Something went down … the military grabbed something.”
Worse yet. The military escort didn’t even get a speeding ticket. But give the military a break. How fast would you travel if an alien said, “Take me to your leader!?”
Lorton is about 73 miles from Ashland. That light on the tow truck sure can travel.
Yep. Pretty wild trucker night? Or just a typical night in Virginia? Don’t know for sure about these truckers but we’d like to party with them.
So maybe there were two incidents? Can you say diversion tactic? Not sure. We don’t know.
We do know one thing – the military answered that burning question we’ve been debating since Richard Dreyfuss made up his mind in “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” in 1977. Would you get on their ship or would you stay behind?
The military said neither. They aren’t into questions. Their answer? Kidnap ET. Yep. They must have taken whatever landed to President Obama for a debriefing. Probably trying to get those aliens to join a union.
Good luck with that President Obama. But they’re probably more interested in having tea with Gov. Scott Walker.
(Feature photo: Publicity shot for Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It’s not real guys. We think. Well, maybe it is.)
Timothy W. Maier is the founder of Baltimore Post-Examiner LLC, which runs the Baltimore and Los Angles Post-Examiner websites. He started out writing music, fiction and poetry and then turned to news writing where he spent the past three decades at news organizations in Wisconsin, Maryland and Washington, D.C. More recently he was the managing editor at the Baltimore Examiner. He now spends time with his family, dogs, and his guitar.