Online dating education

If you’ve been following along with my damaged dating life, then you know I’m a huge fan of online dating websites. My favorite has been Tinder, but the problem is that there are too many average-looking guys trolling there now because it got trendy. My goal is to find a more elite dating site.

I live in Los Angeles, home of all the beautiful people who start trends. I’m not saying trends can’t be started in other parts of the world, but there are just more beautifully trendy people in LA. Once the average people start copying the rest of us, it’s time to find something new. #edhardy

Zoosk.com was recently advertised on my Facebook page so I gave it a shot. Signing up was an adventure on it’s own — can’t we make this stuff user-friendly? After downloading the app onto my phone I tried to upload a profile picture, but couldn’t figure out how to save it so I gave up and stayed faceless. Within a short time I had hundreds of messages popping up on my phone! But there was one central problem: I speak English. Almost all my messages were written in Spanish. I know Los Angeles is close to Mexico, but come on! So, if anyone wants to learn Spanish I suggest you download Zoosk. #longhairdontcare

The best way to date online is to make sure I stand out amongst all the other women. That’s when I came across “OurTime.com the 50+ Single Network.” I’m obviously not 50 but wanted to liven things up for the old-timers and hopefully be the youngest one on there. I answered a few quick questions … looking for Marriage, Serious Relationship, Travel Partner and Pen Pal. After uploading some sexy bikini pictures I wanted to take my dating on the go, but there was no app! Really?!? No app? #epicfail

A few of my friends have mentioned Jdate.com in their quest to find Captain Awesome, but being clueless about religion I clicked the “not willing to convert” button so they didn’t let me in the club. If I’m going to join a cult it’s going to be Scientology and not Jdate. #sorrynotsorry

FarmersOnly.com intrigued me because I’m from Iowa so I like to stick with my roots and wear my cowboy boots. But, my experience lacked intimacy. I wasn’t even able to name myself. They chose to call me “FarmGirl542562.” If I have to be referred to by a number I can’t remember, then it’s probably not the right dating site for me.

A few honorable mentions go out to:
1. Christian Filipina Dating: unfortunately I am neither Christian nor Filipina so they declined my request to join.
2. Partyline App: This one creeped me out because strangers get your phone number, but if I was really drunk I might give it a shot.

• Editor’s note: Joe Thomas, co-founder of Partyline, contacted the author and said that strangers will not get your phone number unless you give it to them.

3. SayHi App: Although the app had stellar directions, I just couldn’t get into it because I hate cartoon emoji’s and don’t want to send them to anyone.
4. DestinyNinja: This is a video game rather than a dating app, but I was confused about that until I started playing. Some of the cartoon guys were pretty hot so I may play again.
Perhaps it’s time to once again step away from technology and play the field on the field …

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Jaimie Beebe

At the age of 36, Jaimie has gone on one adventure after another. Getting an idea in her head she isn’t afraid to jump into action… Usually with no planning and never considering the consequences. At 17 she left her small Iowa town to follow the band Phish and live in her car, she spent time protesting logging in Oregon, got arrested for organizing a topless march in Ohio, received a Bachelor’s degree in photography, spent a month camping in the forest at a rainbow gathering, received a Master’s degree in Music Management, managed some rock bands, modeled for Playboy, slept with a rock & roll legend a few times (hey, you would too), sold real estate in Los Angeles, bought a condo in Las Vegas and lost it to the bank when the market crashed, built her house in the Hollywood Hills in a bikini after the contractor she hired stole her money, took classes to become a magician, wrote articles and columns published in several magazines and websites, ran a production company, produced commercials with huge stars like John Stamos and Betty White and currently owns a casting company. And now she’s taking her readers with her on her next adventure: Mancation.

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