Happy Responsible Fathers’ Day

I would like first to wish all responsible fathers a well-deserved and Happy Fathers’ Day.

Responsible Fatherhood is one of humankind’s most glorious experiences and responsibilities.  As with anything worthwhile, responsible fatherhood is not easy.

Fatherhood itself, save for those with medical problems, is as easy as can be.   You have sex with a fertile woman, and soon you are a father.  I know there are other ways, but this is traditional.

From then on, you’re either a responsible father, an irresponsible father, a present, or an absent father.   Some absent fathers are absent because of occupational or military duties.   Mostly, however, fathers are absent — 80%  in some venues — and increasing in all venues because they have no interest in having to deal with children or the mother, but they may have enjoyed the sex.

I have written often on the link of fatherlessness to children’s pathologies and economic and social failures.  The causal connection is irrefutable.  I shall not get into that here, but take a look at some of these articles to see the effects of fatherlessness.

Washington Examiner with Ellen Sauerbrey

The Baltimore Sun

Maryland Matters


But this piece is about the positive aspects of being a responsible father. Such fathers know the inestimable joy of seeing the love for and from their children, the joy of seeing the children’s failures — yes their failures — and then their successes, their friends and helping them deal with evil companions, their academic and job struggles and successes, their loves and their failures in love, and just giving them advice, sometimes advice the responsible fathers wish they had been given by their parents.

If responsible fathers’ relationships with their children are good, and effort is always required, that same commitment should follow the children through adulthood and should include some passivity – your advice is not always necessary, and sometimes it is simply not wanted.  Children’s mistakes, like the responsible fathers’, can bring them maturity and satisfaction when they are in charge of their own lives.

One bit of advice on that matter: there should never be a time when you stop speaking.  Never! Granted, it sometimes takes one party for silence, but to the extent you can control it, never stop speaking to your child.

Finally, all of this includes mothers, but this is Fathers’ Day, Responsible Father’s Day.

Treat your sons and daughters to dinner, or, if they’re old enough and want to, let them treat you.

I have had wonderful experiences in life, but none as rewarding as having wonderful, incredible children, which is what children usually become when raised by responsible fathers…yes, and mothers.

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