How do you land a girl who is way out of your league? Do you tell her what you think she wants to hear? Do you fabricate just a few things about your bank account? Do you tell her your Ferrari is in the shop and that’s why you’re driving that Honda? You might think you’re pretty cool, but unless you’re good looking and rich or famous, you’re probably not going to land that hot chick you’ve had your eye on. Let’s be realistic, a woman wants to date a Prince Charming who has enough money to take care of her. #hollywoodlife
So why would a beautiful girl like me be so experienced in dating every Loser Larry out there? Men lie. #truestory
The challenge for women is to spot Failure Frank before we get too involved in a love affair. There are the obvious signs: a beat up old car, a crappy apartment and skipping out on the dinner bill. But a real Dead-Beat Dan is much more accomplished at hiding his inadequacies.
Obviously, a great way to find out about a potential date is to Google him, but what if his story checks out online? Any moron can build a website claiming to be a big shot commercial director or the owner of a company, but that doesn’t mean they have money in the bank to pay the mortgage. Women have to dig deeper in order to detect Malicious Matt.
I used to be with a Swindler Sam that had me convinced he worked in the movie industry, but at parties he needed me to introduce him to other industry people in hopes of actually landing a job. He was so delusional that after we stopped dating, he tried to “hire” my girlfriends to work for him as interns for his company that didn’t have any clients. Sorry dude, I already warned my friends … #sorrynotsorry
I once dated a Jobless Joe (ok, a bunch of them), but this one had me convinced he was a trust-fund baby. He went as far as to Photoshop fake bank statements and leave them lying around in my car so when I would find them I genuinely thought he was rich!
So how can women protect themselves from Mental Marvin? A dating prenup! As much as I’m a true Kanye West hater, the only somewhat intelligent (although grammatically incorrect) thing he ever said was,
If you ain’t no punk holla, “We want prenup”
“We want prenup!”
It’s something that you need to have.
If a woman is investing her time into a potential Captain Perfect, she should be compensated if it’s found later that he wasn’t who he said he was. She doesn’t necessarily need to be compensated with a cash prize; I’m not talking about professional women of the evening! For example, I find public humiliation to be entertaining enough for reimbursement of my time.
Future couples should hash out a dating prenup on the second or third date to avoid likely conflict in the event that one person in the relationship is being bamboozled by the other. A dating prenup can cover cheating, money, investment of time, sex, or anything else that comes to mind. And ladies don’t worry; if he wants to sleep with you he’ll probably sign almost anything.
•••• •••• ••••• •••• ••••
Keep up with my crazy life on Instagram (FeatherGirl77) cuz I want more followers. Twitter stalk me @jaimiebeebe if you love to hate me and for everyone still on Facebook I’m there too www.facebook.com/mancation.story
At the age of 36, Jaimie has gone on one adventure after another. Getting an idea in her head she isn’t afraid to jump into action… Usually with no planning and never considering the consequences. At 17 she left her small Iowa town to follow the band Phish and live in her car, she spent time protesting logging in Oregon, got arrested for organizing a topless march in Ohio, received a Bachelor’s degree in photography, spent a month camping in the forest at a rainbow gathering, received a Master’s degree in Music Management, managed some rock bands, modeled for Playboy, slept with a rock & roll legend a few times (hey, you would too), sold real estate in Los Angeles, bought a condo in Las Vegas and lost it to the bank when the market crashed, built her house in the Hollywood Hills in a bikini after the contractor she hired stole her money, took classes to become a magician, wrote articles and columns published in several magazines and websites, ran a production company, produced commercials with huge stars like John Stamos and Betty White and currently owns a casting company. And now she’s taking her readers with her on her next adventure: Mancation.