Why am I attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?

Sitting in my first AA meeting I had to wonder what I was doing with my life — and I’m probably not the only one. I’m sure my mother is reading this thinking I’ve lost my mind, my best friends are reading this laughing hysterically and my faithful blog followers are reading this wondering what the punch line is.

The author drinking. (Photo by Jaimie Beebe)
The author drinking.
(Photo by Jaimie Beebe)

I absolutely LOVE drinking. Champagne, Vodka, Rum, and Wine have given me some of the best nights (and a few afternoons) of my life. So, why am I attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?

Surprisingly I’m not looking for my next date, although if I hit another meeting I’m definitely getting the phone number of the tattooed fellow in the corner. And the guy with long dark hair a couple rows ahead of me was gorgeous! If I had known how many handsome hunks were recovering alcoholics I might have skipped the bars all these years and attended meetings instead.

Nonetheless, I haven’t jumped off the cliff into the abyss of alcoholism just yet, I am here because of a guy. But, he’s not just any guy … He’s got tattoos covering both arms, he’s six feet tall, has rock hard abs and is an addict.

If you’ve read any other Mancation blogs you know I always seem to find the most broken men for my love affairs. I figured since this guy has been sober for so many years, he’s less broken. At this point my mother is still shaking her head, my best friends are laughing even harder and my faithful blog followers think they know the punch line.

(Photo by Jaimie Beebe)
(Photo by Jaimie Beebe)

Anonymous Abe thinks I have a drinking problem because both times we hung out I had a couple drinks and I have a tendency to drunk text him around 2 a.m. on Friday nights (and probably Saturday nights as well).

I don’t think that constitutes me being an alcoholic, but looking through my Instagram photos I realize I’m holding a drink in almost all of them. I don’t mind trying different things when dating a new guy to see what sticks, so I agreed to go to a meeting.

Instagram photos of the author drinking. (Photo by Jaimie Beebe)
Instagram photos of the author drinking.
(Photo by Jaimie Beebe)

The actual meeting wasn’t bad, it’s like watching one of those alcohol documentaries on Netflix. They had free coffee and snacks, it was only an hour long and it was packed full of hotties.  But, it’s not the road for me. I don’t have much to share other than some hilarious videos my girlfriends took of me when I was drunk and maybe that one time I made out with an ugly guy after too many drinks.

It’s good to have things in common with whomever you’re dating; Katie Holmes joined Scientology for Tom Cruise and he professed his love for her on Oprah. For the right guy, I would totally join Scientology.

Photo via Wikipedia
Photo via Wikipedia

I told Anonymous Abe that the meeting wasn’t my thing, mostly because I’m not an addict. I told him we could join a religion or cult together, maybe see a movie or go for a hike, but he said no. He said we just don’t have enough in common, that we have different lifestyles and that it will never work out with us.

Discussing Anonymous Abe with my girlfriends later that night over drinks at our favorite hangout, we came to the conclusion that I’m too accommodating. I don’t need to change myself for any guy and any guy who feels the need to change me doesn’t need to be with me. From now on, what you see is what you get!

On the other hand, I’m still willing to join Scientology for the right guy. Does anyone know if John Cusack is a Scientologist?

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(Photo by Jaimie Beebe)
(Photo by Jaimie Beebe)

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4 thoughts on “Why am I attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?

  • Tim Forkes
    April 10, 2014 at 11:20 AM

    Some people who attend support and recovery groups do very well hooking up with lovers.
    What’s wrong with Coachella?

  • April 9, 2014 at 7:13 AM

    Are you trying to sound like a moron? Using a support and recovery group to meet men? Are you unfortunate looking and pathetic? I’m sure you’re aesthetic is very apparent. Using this article to gain Instagram followers ? Nice hat. I bet you love coachella. You’re a joke w no real opinions and any man sober or not will know that you just put on a front. My favorite part is your introduction at the bottom when you reveal how old you are. How sad. Unbelievable

    • April 10, 2014 at 10:49 PM

      Hi Bridget, no need for me to sound like a moron since you did that for both of us, thanks!
      If you read the article, you will see that although I’m not above using AA to meet hot men, that wasn’t the point. Please re-read it from another computer so I can get more hits.
      You can see from the many photos I post that I am not unfortunate looking. Everyone’s aesthetic is apparent unless you live in the Middle East and are covered by a Burka, so I’m not sure what you mean there… (also it would just be “your” not “you’re”).
      Yes. You have discovered the secret that I only write this blog to get Instagram followers. Thanks for following!
      I’m glad you like my hat.
      Seriously, what’s wrong with Coachella?
      When I reveal my age it’s my favorite part too! We have a lot in common 🙂

      Lastly, I want to thank you for taking the time to read my blogs and let me know your thoughts!

      • April 10, 2014 at 10:49 PM

        PS: I’ll go ahead and post this on my Instagram for you!

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