The GOP had their weekend at Bernie’s recently. They all scampered down to North Carolina to confab with one another and ask the all-important question, “Why don’t they like us?”
Well, we, “we” being their vocal and gleefully sarcastic critics, have a lot of reasons the majority of Americans dislike or hate the Republican Party. Let’s start with the “47 percent” comments. How many Republicans actually came out and condemned that comment as opposed to the number of Republicans who tried to defend or at least spin it? We don’t need a recount.
Then there’s the insistence on giving the wealthy, including the wealthiest corporations, over-the-top tax breaks while — and this is the really fun part — insisting the middle class and poor pay more! You know, that whole thing about letting the tax holiday on the payroll taxes expire, causing the taxes for Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid to rise. Of course you can blame that one on President Obama because he signed that “fiscal speedbump/molehill/anthill/curb/crack/slope/slide/interruptus/cliff” thing which allowed the tax holiday to expire, so it’s almost a wash.
That [F-bomb] Obama … the good people here at the Baltimore Post-Examiner don’t like it when I drop too many F-bombs, for good reason I’m told, but sometimes you know, you just have that overwhelming desire — need — to say, “That [Fucking] Obama!”
What the president ought to do, what he needs to do, is use his executive order pen and re-establish the tax holiday for payroll taxes and then force the GOP to try and block a tax break.
At any rate, the list of reasons why the American public doesn’t like the GOP goes on: the resolve of the party to live in an alternative universe with alternative logic and an alternative reality; i.e. remember how shocked the GOPer’s were when President Obama actually won re-election? Up until everybody but the last gaspers had called the election for Obama, those few, like Karl Rove, were clinging to the alternative logic polling which had Mitt Romney winning in a landslide.
The more realistic FoxNews newsies, like Megyn Kelly, were done with the alternative nonsense. You know the shit stinks when even those adding shit to the pile think it stinks. In essence, Kelly told Rove, “Karl, your shit stinks.”
I love that porn star/nude model spelling of her first name. Makes you wonder: what’s in Megyn Kelly’s past?
Then there’s the GOP’s war on Hispanics. It’s because them damn Mexicans can’t stay on their side of the Rio Grande. Make’em self deport! Dammit! Adopt Arizona’s “papers please” law! Force every cop in America to ask everyone they pull over to prove their citizenship!
“It’s because your driver-side tail light is broken. Can you prove you’re a legal resident of the United States?”
“Umm … no.”
“Please step out of the car ma’am.”
Yep, that endeared the Republican Party to the Hispanic community.
And who can forget their War on Women? Just recently one of their nuttier nuts, State Representative Kathrynn Brown of New Mexico, submitted a bill that would make abortions for pregnancies that were the result of rape or incest a crime, punishable by jail sentences for the women who have them. Seriously. Having the abortion would be tampering with evidence. You just can’t make this shit up and convince people to believe it’s true.
Then there were the campaign comments that killed the GOP’s dreams of taking over the U.S. Senate. We all remember them: “legitimate rape,” vaginal probes, No birth control through health care plans, and the fact that there are no women in positions of leadership in the U.S. House of Representatives. They truly are the party of old, White men.
• Our president took some heat for not having any women in the “Big Four” cabinet positions for his second term. But he does have women in his cabinet. Still, Valerie Jarrett, one of his closest advisors, could have been his chief of staff. Just sayin’ …
So the Republicans got together for a few days to figure it all out. Their summation? It isn’t the message — of course it isn’t — it’s the way they deliver the message. All the GOP needs to do is smile when they tell a woman she needs a vaginal probe or when they tell Hispanics to deport themselves.
So picture Reince Priebus, Chairman of the National Republican Committee, talking to a man of obvious Hispanic descent. Oh yeah, they re-elected Priebus as the chair of the RNC. That explains a lot in itself.
Priebus: (smiling) “Hi Mr. Mexican Man!”
Man: “I’m not Mexican. My parents are from El Salvador.”
Priebus: “Same difference. Since you are so obviously an anchor baby, we’d like you and your family to go back to Mexico!”
Man: (not smiling) “My parents are from El Salvador …
Priebus: (still smiling) “Same difference …”
Man: (still not smiling) “… and they applied for and got U.S. citizenship during the Reagan Administration.”
Priebus: (sorta smiling) “Yeah, listen, our campaign donors need your land for fraking so we need you to vacate immediately. There’s a bus leaving for El Paso, Texas in a couple hours and you can cross the border there. You Mexicans like riding in buses, don’t you?”
Or maybe they get Rand Paul to do their outreach to women.
Paul: (smiling) “Yes ma’am! We’re the new Republican Party and we understand the needs of you, the average American woman! Listen, if you wanna be a slut and sleep around with every Tom, Dick and Harry, that’s okay with us, we won’t judge — (in a whisper) very much — but we don’t think your birth control pills should be covered by health insurance, regardless of the reasons you take them.
Woman: (not smiling) “[F-bomb] you! I’m organizing the women of Kentucky to vote you out of office. Moron.”
Oh the possibilities. The new Republican Party. There was a voice of reason at the GOP retreat, in the form of Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. He said, once again, the GOP had to stop being the stupid party … eh … but nobody there was listening.
You know who wasn’t at the GOP retreat? Sarah Palin. Apparently she isn’t quite the force she was shortly after she quit her job as governor of Alaska. Remember Palin during the 2010 election cycle, doling out her endorsements like manna from on high? She, Sarah Palin, maven of FoxNews, was going to be the GOP’s 2012 candidate for president and — by God! — she was going to make Barack Obama a one-term president! Hell, [F-bomb] yeah, baby!
But when it came time to give up all her very lucrative endeavors, like her million dollars per year pundit deal with FoxNews, well, maybe 2012 wasn’t the right year for Mama Grizzly — or is it Mama Moose? — to officially get out on the campaign trail. People were questioning Roger Ailes, president of FoxNews, about the ethics of employing so many presidential hopefuls, that didn’t look too good.
Then there was SarahPac. How much money were Sarah Palin and her family pulling out of that for their personal gain, in the form of salaries? Before she officially announced she wasn’t running, SarahPac had ads on their site telling people to donate to help Sarah Decide. And, she pointed out, she was helping specific politicians in their campaigns through SarahPac and they needed money too.
In the third quarter of 2012, SarahPac received over $800,000 in donations and had $1,250,000 dollars on hand. And it was primarily collected from people making donations of $200 or less. She was raking in the dough and Palin could decide how it was spent.
In the run-up to the 2012 elections Stephen Colbert did an excellent exposé on PAC’s and SuperPacs and how easy it is to start one and the great benefits of them — like the secrecy.
Then of course Palin was getting paid big bucks for speaking fees and had millions in book deals and, for one brief season, a reality show. Officially running for president would mean giving it all up. Sarah Palin would have to give away her money tree, the real reason she quit her job as governor.
That wasn’t the extent of Palin’s decision not to run. Nope, there were her gaffes, like when she stepped on Mitt Romney’s campaign announcement in New Hampshire (June 2, 2011) officially launching his presidential campaign. She apologized — sincerely — on FoxNews with Chris Wallace.
You may remember, Romney was all set to suck up all the air in the press bubble with his official announcement, until Palin showed up and — oops — Romney was still on the front page of the newspapers, but below the fold. “[F-bomb] Romney! We wanna know: are you running Sarah?”
It was at that time, when Republican candidates were announcing their campaigns, the Palin Family decided to go on vacation. SarahPac bought the Palin Family a tricked out bus and they all went on a romp through New England, stepping on Romney at every opportunity.
After visiting historic sites around Boston Palin explained to all the cameras how Paul Revere rode his horse through the night to warn the British … umm … that the British were coming? Palin said Revere warned the British about something.
“He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”
Actually, the rest of us were taught Paul Revere made his famous ride to warn the colonists the British were coming and when Revere was captured he told them they would never get the colonist’s cache of weapons. So Palin almost got it right.
But when the day came for all candidates to officially declare, Palin declined. Let’s face it, she was still making hundreds of thousands of dollars a month and every news organization from here to Clavius Base were hanging on her every Tweet, Facebook post and FoxNews appearance. Why in the name of all that’s phony, would she give up any of that to run for an office she will never occupy, let alone want to stay in if (for some cosmic reason) she got there? If the American public was dumb enough to vote for her, of course.
The reality was no Republican could have won against President Obama, as Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan proved, as Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey proved when he declined to get in the race. And the idea of Sarah Palin even winning the GOP nomination was so off the charts fantastical, none but the most fanatical Palin supporters thought it was possible.
And Sarah Palin knew this, so she played the game for all the money she could suck in through her PAC and speaking fees, pretending to think about running for president.
Now that’s all over — and it is all over — she doesn’t even bother to keep her PAC’s website up to date. If you go to the site and wish to donate, this is what you see as a donation appeal:
“Taking back control of the House was only the first step. Now you and I must fix our eyes on 2012. Our goal is to take back the White House and the Senate. We must take back control of Congress and the White House in order to undo the damage done by the disastrous Obama/Pelosi/Reid agenda.
I’ll be supporting commonsense conservative candidates and doing all that I can to ramp up our preparations for 2012. And I promise to join you in holding members of Congress accountable to ensure that they live up to their campaign promises to rein in out-of-control government spending and to repeal and replace the massive, burdensome, and unwanted Obamacare bill.
Can I count on your support as we look ahead to 2012?”
Look for that to change though, once people start talking about the obsolete message.
The coup de grâce to all this though came last week when FoxNews announced that Sarah Palin would no longer be a paid pundit. You can read about why Palin and Fox parted ways and it would be no surprise to anyone it was about the money, but the truth of it was, Roger Ailes and Fox saw that Palin was no longer the power she once was, for those brief three years after she lost the presidential election … well, Palin and McCain, but really, the day McCain announced Palin as his running mate it was all about Sarah. Anyway, what Ailes and Fox saw was that people no longer give a damn when it comes to Sarah Palin.
Palin’s star has risen … and now it has fallen. Any political prospects she might have harbored are all but over.
Except, there’s always that possibility. Lawrence O’Donnell was on his program, The Last Word, Monday night trumpeting the political end of Palin, but I am reminded of 1962 when Richard Nixon, a former vice president at the time, lost his bid to be California’s governor. I was only a wee child at the time but it’s a lesson we are often reminded of when someone’s political obituary is widely announced and celebrated.
After losing in 1962, Nixon famously said, “You won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore because gentlemen, this is my last press conference.”
Just over six years later Nixon was taking the oath of office to be the President of the United States. I believe Palin is done, Lawrence O’Donnell believes she’s done, but does Sarah Palin believe she is done?
She likes that money tree and knows there still some fruit to be harvested so I’m betting she tries shaking it again.
Run Sarah, run! Or at least pretend you’re running!