The Secret Life of Pets: New dogs, old tricks
2 out of 4 stars
Stop me if you’ve heard this already: The second you leave the house all of the nonhumans in your house magically come to life, communicate with each other and somehow venture out into the world for a wild adventure.
Toy Story? Yep. Toy Story 2? Correct. Toy Story 3? You got it. Small Soldiers? Wow, you’re good.
That’s the problem with The Secret Life of Pets: Hollywood has been there, done that, sold a boatload of merchandise, DVDs, Blu-rays anything else for which it overcharges. Now, it’s trying to force another helping of cartoon creatures down our throats.
The Secret Life of Pets basically substitutes toys for pets – mainly dogs – and lets them take over as soon as their owners say goodbye for the day. It’s a formula that has worked so many times for Hollywood that the genre will never die, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get old.
In The Secret Life of Pets, a small terrier named Max (voiced by Louis C.K.) is living the dream with his millelnial owner Katie (Ellie Kemper) in a New York City apartment that’s filled with furry friends inluding a Pomeranian named Gidget (Jenny Slate), and the fat cat named Chloe (Lake Bell). But Max’s fantasy world of being the top dog gets rocked when Katie adopts a stray named Duke (Eric Stonestreet), a huge, furry mutt who establishes dominance over Max the moment he arrives.
Remember when Woody and Buzz Lightyear clashed when they first met in Toy Story? Well, you get the picture.
In a plot that’s as predictable as seeing an ice cube melt in the heat, Max and Duke get into a argument that separates them from their buddies and the next thing they know, they are across the river in Brooklyn and realize they must work together to find their way home.
Seriously, how many times has the phrase “work together to find their way back home” been written when describing a plot to a kids movie?
Along the way, Max and Duke must escape from animal control and from the “Flushed Pets,” a faction of animals – led by a bitter and funny bunny named Snowball (Kevin Hart) – who have been abandoned by their owners. The gang, which includes snakes, alligators, cats and dogs, provide humor, but none are funnier than Snowball, who could very easily star in his own film – a testament to how Hart brings him to life with his witty humor that’s suitable for children.
Directed by Chris Renaud (Despicable Me) and Yarrow Cheney, The Secret Life of Pets is a product of Illumination Entertainment, which gave the world Minions, who star in a short film before the main attraction.
At less than 90 minutes, The Secret Life of Pets moves quickly, which is good for kids and even better for adults, who by now have gotten tired of seeing new dogs doing the same old tricks.
Jon Gallo is an award-winning journalist and editor with 19 years of experience, including stints as a staff writer at The Washington Post and sports editor at The Baltimore Examiner. He also believes the government should declare federal holidays in honor of the following: the Round of 64 of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament; the Friday of the Sweet 16; the Monday after the Super Bowl; and of course, the day after the release of the latest Madden NFL video game.