Sarah Palin returns to Fox: Comedians rejoice! - Baltimore Post-ExaminerBaltimore Post-Examiner

Sarah Palin returns to Fox: Comedians rejoice!

You know, just when you’ve seen it all, thought there was nothing left; the gas tank was empty, the road had come to its end, the oil had run dry — just when you thought we would no longer be treated to the malapropos and other goofiness of the ignorant — Roger Ailes, Chairman and CEO of FoxNews, steps in and saves the day!

Roger Ailes is president of FoxNews and Chairman/CEO of Fox Television Stations Group, (FoxNews photo)

Roger Ailes is president of FoxNews and Chairman/CEO of Fox Television Stations Group,
(FoxNews photo)

He’s Rupert Murdoch’s toadie, by the bye. Despite the eavesdropping scandal that rocked Murdoch’s British and European Empire, the crusty old Australian — and naturalized American — still owns the Fox Network and all Fox entertainment properties here in the U.S. and around the world.

OK, before we get into the meat of this harangue, let’s just review something here. Although President Bush (43) and his cronies were the first to adopt the new technologies to spy on everyone and anyone, Murdoch and his news outlets in Great Britain got in trouble for eavesdropping on unsuspecting individuals for his papers’ hit pieces. So this NSA scandal isn’t new. Like Senators Feinstein and Chambliss said, it’s “routine.”

OK, back to the harangue.

So, after the 2012 elections, in which the FoxNews prognosticators were so wrong even ultra conservative news anchor Megyn Kelly was calling them out for their bullshit, Ailes took the big step of pushing out the door the high-priced “talent” that made a laughing stock of FoxNews’s political reputation … or what passed for a reputation over there.

"Is this just math that you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better, or is this real?” -- Megyn Kelly (screen grab of FoxNews)

“Is this just math that you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better, or is this real?” — Megyn Kelly
(screen grab of FoxNews)

Dick Morris — GONE! Karl Rove — sidelined for the foreseeable future! And the quitter, Sarah Palin — “hasta la vista baby. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.”

In fact, I had written Sarah Palin’s political obituary here! Yes, my contempt for the Quitter knows no bounds. The vice presidential candidate who didn’t know why there are two Koreas (North and South) and thought Paul Revere made his famous ride to warn the British …

  • Well, she was kind of correct on that one because technically the American colonists were still subjects of the British Crown and therefore British …

Yes, the Quitter. Roger Ailes had declined to renew her million dollar contract as a FoxNews analyst and really, if FoxNews kicks you out the door, where you gonna go? Satellite radio? Maybe get a radio gig like Rush and Glenn? That wouldn’t happen. Palin has that whiny voice and nobody wants to listen to that for three hours a day. Could she even carry  a three-hour daily program anyway? Limbaugh, Hannity and Beck have set the bar pretty low, but seriously, could a radio network find enough listeners who can tolerate the sound of her voice that much and find what she has to say interesting, five days a week? Yep, it looked like Palin’s star was fading.

Her supporters were beset with grief and felt betrayed. Wasn’t Sarah Palin the best thing to hit FoxNews since … since … since the Monica Lewinsky scandal? The Gramma Grizzly was betrayed by the very network she rescued and every criticism of Palin was labeled “sexist.” “You would never treat a male politician this way!”

weiner-memeWell, actually we do. Anthony Weiner got his nuts toasted real good after he posted photos of them on Twitter. And if you review all my posts for the last seven years I’ve been writing online, you’ll see I have been equally dismissive and contemptuous of Republican/Conservative men I don’t like.

So let’s be real here: despite her college degree, Sarah Palin just isn’t very bright. She knows how to memorize catch phrases and political slogans meant for the cheap seats, but when it gets down to policy and substance Sarah Palin is about as dim as politicians get.

She isn’t alone of course. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann and former Congressman Joe Walsh are pretty notable in the ignorance of government department and on occasion Dr. Rand Paul, the junior senator from Kentucky, but Palin has a platform again as paid commentator on FoxNews.

But despite all her negatives, Palin still has a base of support and FoxNews is slipping in the ratings, so, maybe not for a million-plus a year, “… but, Sarah, baby, wontcha please come back! I need you darlin’!”

Karl Rove predicting the fantasy on election night; Mit Romney would magically win Ohio and thereby the election. (screen grab of FoxNews)

Karl Rove predicting the fantasy on election night; Mit Romney would magically win Ohio and thereby the election.
(screen grab of FoxNews)

Conservatives — real conservatives — like Steve Schmidt and Jeb Golinkin, thought the exit of Palin, Rove and Morris from the television pundit stage marked a turning of the GOP, from the party “ …that rejected education, science, economics, and ideas generally …” to an actual open tent political party. (as quoted by Golinkin on The Week)

But then reality set in. The House GOP took a vote on repealing the Affordable Health Care Act for the 37th time; the Senate couldn’t get enough Republican senators to vote down a filibuster of the new firearms law — despite 90% of the U.S. population being for the measures.

Wisconsin, now with the GOP in control of the state government, became the latest state to enact a law that requires a woman seeking an abortion to have an ultrasound, which isn’t a recommended medical procedure. Then Republican Congressman Trent Franks of Arizona rebirthed the “pregnancy from rape is rare” argument during a recent debate on yet another anti-women bill going through the House of Representatives.

“The incidence of rape resulting in pregnancy are very low,” Franks said. Just put aside the reality that the GOP-controlled House of Representatives was preparing yet another anti-abortion bill. That type of comment is what sunk Congressman Todd Akin’s bid to be the newest senator from Missouri.

  • Senator Claire McCaskill thanks you Todd.
Sarah Palin made her debut on FoxNews with a visit to the O’Reilly Factor. (screen grab from FoxNews)

Sarah Palin made her debut on FoxNews with a visit to the O’Reilly Factor.
(screen grab from FoxNews)

The list goes on. Congressman Darrel Issa’s hearings on Benghazi and now the IRS business — it just smacks of partisanship, especially when Issa, chair of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, announces conclusions to his little witch-hunts before he even hears any testimony or sees any evidence.

Tea Party favorite Senator Marco Rubio introduced an immigration bill, but then backtracked on it when the GOP base reacted negatively to it.

It just doesn’t look good for the Republicans, not nationally and the moderate, thinking members of the party hang their heads in embarrassment. Don’t cry Jeb. It could be worse … actually it can get much worse for the GOP.

Now Ailes has rehired the Quitter to be a FoxNews contributor. Let the fun begin. This ought to be entertaining. For the past six months all the late night comedians could count on from Palin were angry tweets and Facebook posts. Starting Monday they will have entire segments to play with.

We can all look forward to more of Sarah Palin. The late night comic salute Roger Ailes! (screen grab from FoxNews)

We can all look forward to more of Sarah Palin. The late night comic salute Roger Ailes!
(screen grab from FoxNews)

And, to spice things up Palin is rumored to be writing a book about the so-called “War on Christmas.” We can hardly wait to read that.

It’s not like the GOP actually left the crazy wing of the funny farm when FoxNews axed its high-paid political pundits. All the radio nuts are still on the air, but gosh darn it, the moderate Republicans thought they saw their party becoming a sensible organization. Well, I feel their pain. I actually thought President Obama would lead from the left. Go figure …

Sarah Palin will be back on FoxNews and the Fox Business Channel. Man, it will be a hoot to hear what she has to say about business.

 


About the author

Tim Forkes

Tim Forkes started as a writer on a small alternative college newspaper in Milwaukee called the Crazy Shepherd. Writing about entertainment issues, he had the opportunity to speak with many people in show business, from the very famous to the people struggling to find an audience. In 1992 Tim moved to San Diego, CA and pursued other interests, but remained a freelance writer. Upon arrival in Southern California he was struck by how the business of government and business was so intertwined, far more so than he had witnessed in Wisconsin. His interest in entertainment began to wane and the business of politics took its place. He had always been interested in politics, his mother had been a Democratic Party official in Milwaukee, WI, so he sat down to dinner with many of Wisconsin’s greatest political names of the 20th Century: William Proxmire and Clem Zablocki chief among them. As a Marine Corps veteran, Tim has a great interest in veteran affairs, primarily as they relate to the men and women serving and their families. As far as Tim is concerned, the military-industrial complex has enough support. How the men and women who serve are treated is reprehensible, while in the military and especially once they become veterans. Tim would like to help change that reality. Contact the author.
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