Babies are a long way off for me - Baltimore Post-ExaminerBaltimore Post-Examiner

Babies are a long way off for me

I was visiting my cousin and her 18-month-old son last week when she asked me why my boyfriend and I don’t have a baby. Given the fact that this question came out of nowhere I was a little bit of a loss for words.

I think my first answer was just a laugh.

Then she asked again, “No, really, why don’t you?”

Well, there are a million answers to that, “We don’t want to” being the first one. There’s also “We want to be married first,” “We want to buy a house first,” “We don’t have enough money,” and “We aren’t ready yet.” But really the very first one is, we don’t want a baby.

I’m sure I’m going to be skewered alive by all moms who read this blog but having a baby looks like it totally sucks. First you get sick, then you get fat, then a baby rips your insides apart, and then you have to feed, diaper, rock, repeat for two years. I already have issues with losing weight, I don’t need pregnancy to help me along. I also really, really enjoy sleeping in on Saturdays and Sundays. I also like to go anywhere I want at any time I want.

Over the last three decades, women have been waiting longer to start having children. In 1970 the average age of a first-time mother was about 21. In 2008 the average age was 25.1

In the past three decades, women have been waiting longer to start having children. In 1970 the average age of a first-time mother was about 21. In 2008 the average age was 25. (Wikipedia)

I’m not really sure why everyone thinks that when you turn 30 you immediately start thinking about procreation. That’s not to say I haven’t thought about it, of course. When I see a cute baby, or a cute baby outfit, or a name I like, I think about what it would be like to have my own kid someday. Key word being, someday. Not today. I’m not trying to rush into having a kid – I’m still trying to get my own shit together.

When Awesome and I moved into our new apartment in August, we bought a Boston terrier puppy. I had wanted my own dog since I was 18, and I was so happy to finally get one. She is amazing – but she is also like what I would imagine having a baby would be like. I worry about what she is doing, I worry about her choking on bones, I have to make sure someone is there to take her to the bathroom, and we actually can’t just do anything we want because we can’t leave her in the crate alone for too long. Of course, having a dog is only a fraction of what having a baby is like, I’m sure. It’s just our first taste of what it’s like to take care of another living thing.

I told my cousin not to worry, of course we want to have kids someday, but for now, we enjoy drinking a little too much at dinner and not caring, sleeping in on Sundays, and using our spare room as a computer/library instead of a nursery. But check in with us in three years…maybe by then we’ll be unselfish enough to think about babies.


About the author

Emily Campbell

Emily Little (nee Campbell) was a perpetually single girl who recently met and married her Mr. Right. Her blog, Dating Emily, has been a two-year diary of her adventures in relationships. Her life of bar-hopping and casual dating has turned into one of dog-walking, craft-making and budgeting for eventual home ownership. But just because she can make a mean casserole doesn't mean her adventures are over. As she prepares to become a first-time homeowner and eventually, a mom, she is discovering that the adventure may just be beginning. Contact the author.
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